New Year/New You Series

Life Ethics Series: Creating Balance



Part 1 of 3

"Getting Started" - By Rebekah Delling

Our society puts a great deal of emphasis on having a good "work ethic". People today use the phrase "work ethic" like people used to use the phrase "good character". The description of someone having a good work ethic is usually accompanied by admiring tones and gestures. It is high praise indeed.

There is nothing wrong with having a good work ethic, in fact - it is something we should all develop. However, having a good work ethic isn't synonymous with being a work-a-holic. Part of having a good work ethic is knowing when to leave work behind. And that is the heart of this three-part series, learning to find balance in our lives by developing a whole "life ethic".

What is a "life ethic"? A life ethic is a set of values that help us balance every aspect of our lives; family, career, relaxation, wellness etc. It involves devoting as much time and energy to other parts of our lives as we do to our careers.

Too often having a successful career means other parts of our lives suffer - our families, our health, etc. So then we must ask ourselves, what  really constitutes success? Is a successful career at the expense of a well-balanced life worth the price? In the end, will we look back and wonder what it was all for - or will we look back and know that we've really lived?

Nobody looks back and wishes they'd spent more weekends at the office - nobody - not even Ebenezer Scrooge.

So then we have to wonder if success is more than just how much money we make or how many possessions we own. What if success means that we are good people who work passionately, love passionately, and live passionately in equal measures?

For example, what if we don't accept a promotion that would require us to spend 60 to 80 hours a week at the office, but choose to coach our child's baseball team instead? Are we still considered successful? Yes. But in that case, we've become successful at being human.

The first step in creating a life ethic is to see our lives from a broader perspective. To do that we need to expand our minds beyond our usual thought-process and adopt a more objective view of our situation.

Here a few questions to get started with this process. Writing down answers to the questions will be helpful in developing a life ethic.

Questions:

1. Am I happy?

2. Am I heathly?

3. When's the last time I took a vacation?

4. What did I do on my last vacation? Was it relaxing?

5. Do I know the names of my children's teachers/coaches/friends?

6. When's the last time I took a walk outside in nature?

7. When's the last time I did something just for me that didn't involve shopping or eating?

8. Do I have an excess of vacation time left at the end of the year I could be using?

9. Do I know my co-workers better than my family?

10. What are my hobbies and when was the last time I spent time doing my hobbies?

11. When was the last time I called my best friend/sister/neighbor/elderly relative?

12. When was the last time I turned the off the TV and read a book?

Look at the answers. To how many did we answer yes? To how many did we asnwer no? What does it all mean? The answers to these questions help us to determine where we are successful in life, and where we need some work. Did we learn anything interesting about our personal lives?

Only we can answer these questions. And only we have the answers. The power to change lies within us. All we have to do is change our attitude to change our world.

We need to know that is okay to not be the weathiest person on our block, to not have the latest gadgets, to take vacations, to call off sick sometimes, to have pillow fights with our kids, to say no to overtime, to not work Saturdays, to not drive the most expensive car, to not be up on the latest fashions, and to not know what's happening to the Spears and Lohans of the world.

We need to give ourselves permission to let things go before we can move on. Once we discover our weak areas, and let go of some our pre-conceived notions we can move onto the next step.

The next step is to determine our core values. At the end of the day what matters most to us? Our families? Our pets? Our freedom? Our ability to positively affect the lives of others?

Take some time to jot down a list of our values on a piece of paper - there are no right or wrong answers. After we jot them down we need to live with them for a few days. Look at them. Re-read them. Adjust them as needed. This is our most important tool for creating our life ethic. Meditate on them as long as is necessary. The next step will be continued in the part 2.

Part 2 of 3 will be online by next Tuesday, check back then! Thanks.